Cleaning out a vintage purse, Tracy happened on the program of the Sigma Alpha Epsilon fraternity’s weekend in the spring of 1993 for parents of newly joined freshmen of the fraternity, my son Ryan being among them.

A pleasant weekend it was, with dinner cooked by an executive chef and wines served by a sommelier—both with III’s following their surnames. Only in Cornell?

Perusing the program, I found it contained a short essay entitled “The True Gentleman.” It is attributed to a John Walter Wayland (Virginia, 1899), according to a bit on the web from the North Dakota Chapter of SAE, which claims that it is the product of an essay contest held in Baltimore, Md., on the topic of defining the qualities of a gentleman–these are qualities that, naturally, can and should define gentle people of any gender.

I repeat the essay here as it lists qualities that I wish we saw more of in this day and age in our nation, especially in its leadership. Here is the essay:

The True Gentleman is the man whose conduct proceeds from good will and an acute sense of propriety, and whose self-control is equal to all emergencies; who does not make the poor man conscious of his poverty, the obscure man of his obscurity, or any man of his inferiority or deformity; who is himself humbled if necessity compels him to humble another; who does not flatter wealth, cringe before power, or boast of his own possessions or achievements; who speaks with frankness but always with sincerity and sympathy; whose deed follows his word; who thinks of the rights and feelings of others, rather than his own; and who appears well in any company, a man with whom honor is sacred and virtue safe.

– John Walter Wayland (Virginia 1899)

I’m glad that my son was associated as a young man with an organization that embraced them, and I believe he has come to embody them. From a proud father as Father’s Day approaches.

When is Son’s Day anyway?

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